


Crystals and Case Files

by IndecisiveScribbler



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Juno just wants to know how to not blow things up, Magic AU, Modern AU, Nureyev owns a magic shop, magic shop au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24382186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndecisiveScribbler/pseuds/IndecisiveScribbler
Summary: Peter Nureyev, accomplished witch and ex-criminal, has settled into his life as the mostly upstanding citizen and small business owner Rex Glass.  Out of boredom, he puts up an ad for "adult beginner magic lessons," a bit of a joke for a world where most people get their magic as kids or teens.Juno Steel picks up a wand and accidentally sets fire to himself and the criminal he's trying to apprehend.  He decides to finally listen to Rita and get magic lessons for his newly found "gift" (or curse, if you ask him).  The ad for "adult beginner magic lessons" seems perfect, and he runs to the shop before he can second guess what the heck he is getting himself into.Basically Nureyev gets to teach Juno magic and they're both gay disasters.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	Crystals and Case Files

**Author's Note:**

> Woah! It's been _forever_ since I posted a fic!  
> This idea came to me at one in the morning like all good ideas do, and somehow I have a ten chapter outline already?? Which we'll see how well that holds up... Hopefully I can actually post a multi-chapter fic!!! And update it!! Woah!
> 
> ((Thanks to my amazing partner for reading this before I posted <3))

Peter Nureyev was a lot of things. An accomplished witch, an ex-criminal with a heart of gold and eyeliner to match, a proud business owner, and of course a talented actor when he wanted to be. But one thing he was not and had never been was patient, and if he had to wait one more minute past closing time for this Karen of a woman to make her selection of incense, he was going to lose it.

“You see, Penelope just adores the lavender, but oh my poor dog Brambleton is allergic! And of course, citrus scents are so in season right now, but something earthy would do my husband well…” she flipped her hair from her eyes, her bracelets jangling. With a grin his direction, she started pulling out boxes and smelling them, opening and closing them with reckless abandon. Nureyev stifled a sigh behind a grin and stared at the clock. Was there a point where it would no longer be rude to shoo her out? Could he manifest some small illusion to scare her off, or would that reduce business in the long run? Would it be worth it to be done for the day? Maybe if he just –

He was pulled from his thoughts by a rough jangle of the front bell, and the hurried footsteps and panting breaths of the person who had burst in. “Are you still open? I heard- my secretary- there was an ad- magic? Lessons? Juno Steel. That’s… I mean I’m Juno Steel, I heard you do magic lessons?”

Nureyev blinked, taking in the situation. If he played this right, he could be rid of the Karen easily and finally have a chance to lock the doors. “Ah! Mr. Steel!” He made his way from the back of the counter, walking up to Juno as if he had been expected.

Nureyev flashed his most winning smile before turning to the woman. “I am sorry, but I’m afraid I must be closing shop. The lady here has reserved a magic lesson, and it would be terribly rude to keep him waiting.”

“Oh!” she grasped the two half-open boxes of incense, looking rapidly between Nureyev and Juno. “Oh but… but I was going to see if you had the crystals I needed and- ”

“Terribly rude!” he repeated, waving his hand at the door, causing a gust of wind to open it with a pleasant ding!

She finally seemed to take the hint, putting down the incense and making her way out the door slowly. “Will you be open next Monday at 5? I get off work then and I think I’ll come looking for a new wand for my little nephew. Something nice and-“

With another ding! the door slammed shut behind her, cutting her off. Finally. Nureyev let out a sigh and turned to the lady who had entered. “Sorry for that, Mr. Steel. You said you were looking for magic lessons?”

“I… yes.” He followed Nureyev up to the counter. “My secretary has been getting at me to try it out, and, well, I saw the ad, and… I have no clue how to do magic?”

Nureyev grinned before pulling down his planner. Sure, he had been counting the seconds until he was rid of the woman, and until he could be done for the week, but he supposed that spending a bit of time with this rather attractive lady would be an interesting way to spend a Friday afternoon. “Well, it sounds like you’re in the right place. I did say you had reserved a lesson, which is entirely not true, and I do apologize, but if you are free now we can start with the basics?”

“Wait, now? As in right now?”

“Yes, unless that is inconvenient for you, in which case we can schedule a time next week.” Nureyev smiled again. “Unless, if you prefer, we could meet over the weekend? Perhaps over a cup of coffee?”

“Coffee? Do you need caffeine to do magic? I mean, I already had… oh!” Juno seemed to pick up on the flirting undertones about halfway through, suddenly seeming to become rather flustered. Nureyev smiled. “I- I mean, now would work.”

“Well then, if you wait here a moment, I’ll gather some supplies and we can begin.” He swept out of the room, maintaining a mysterious air (hopefully) and absolutely at all costs avoiding tripping on the doorframe to the back of the shop (mostly).  


  


* * *

  


Juno Steel was not usually this easily flustered, but to be fair today was not a usual day. It was a good day, which was few and far between for a lady like him, so he was going to take advantage of it. He had woken up on time, the last case had wrapped up neatly with a hefty paycheck for the trouble, and overall, the office had been quiet. It was one of the few evenings in the past couple weeks where he hadn’t wanted to head straight home and wrap himself away from the world in blankets and try to forget he existed in the first place. Which was good. He was good, and that was unusual, but he may as well enjoy it while it lasted. Maybe finally get some stuff done that he had been putting off.

And Rita had been bugging him for weeks about starting up magic lessons. After the case with the weird cult, where he picked up one of the wands as evidence. Somehow, he had managed to catch fire to half his coat as well as the hair of the escaping kidnapper, rounding off the case and revealing his proficiency for the arcane arts.

“Mista Steel!” she would say, day after day. “With a gift like that you gotta get training! You could go to university for it, get a degree! OH! Just like in that one movie, Laura Windcher and the Mysterious Spark, where Laura finds out she’s got magic and goes to get trained and meets Omara and the two of them are rivals but they’re actually in love and, and, and oh OH Mista STEEL you NEED to take magic lessons!”

Most days he just ignored her. After all, he was a late bloomer when it came to finding he could shoot sparks with his fingers or whatever. People usually found their magic, if they had any, when they were kids. Maybe high schoolers at the latest. They’d come from some magic family, learn most of the basics from a weird bearded uncle, then apply to a school and spend four years on some Bachelor of Archaea degree just go into accounting or something boring like that like the rest of the world. But Juno, as always, couldn’t just be like most people. He had to find out about his magic powers while on a case.

By setting himself on fire.

But again, today wasn’t most days, and Rita was right in one thing; if he had magic, he might as well get some lessons for it, if for nothing other than to avoid catching himself on fire the next time he had to apprehend a kidnapping cult leader. And so, seeing an ad from an independent magic supply store for adult beginner magic lessons on the coffee shop notice board was enough to convince him to try it out.

And then a quick google told him that the store in question was about to close, and, for some reason, he decided to run to get in before it did, because god damn it if he wasn’t going to take advantage of a good mental health day when it came along.

He was absolutely not expecting whoever was giving the lessons to be this attractive.

And he was really not expecting to actually start taking the lessons today.

Honestly, if he had paused for a second during his sprint from coffee shop to magic store, he would have realized that he still didn’t think of himself as a witch. And, now that he had a moment to catch his breath and actually think through what he had gotten himself into, there was a good chance that the magic hadn’t actually been him, and he was about to waste the time of the very attractive man who ran the store. The very attractive man who ran the store. Who sorta was asking him on a date maybe? A magic lesson date? Was this a date? Did magic people tutor each other and call it romance? Okay, maybe he was overthinking a little bit. Just calm down and-

“Mr. Steel!” The man’s voice called out from the back. He poked his head through the curtain, flashing a wonderful smile. “I know you say you have no experience, but do you happen to have a wand or arcane focus on you at the moment?”

“No?” He put his hands in his pockets, fidgeting while looking around the store, anywhere but at those gold-lined, glasses covered eyes. “I uh, just realized I had magic or whatever. I have no experience whatsoever.”

“Ah.” The man stepped out from the back, a few boxes stacked in his hands. “So, when you say beginner you truly mean…”

“Yeah, I’m a full-on beginner at the whole magic thing. Never so much as glowed until the other day. Pretty inconvenient if you ask me.” He gave the man a smile.

“Hmm. Interesting.” The man set down the boxes and pulled out a little yellow toy car, placing it on the countertop. “Where are my manners! My name is Rex Glass.” He pulled out a wand and held it out to Juno. “Ready to begin?”

“Well, Glass, ready as I’ll ever be.” Juno took the wand, smiling. God, if there was any good in the world, could he please not burn down this man’s shop?  


  


* * *

  


Nureyev swept his hand over Juno’s, lifting his arm slightly. “You see, Mr. Steel, you have to be confident in your wand movements staring out.” He swept his arm in a slow circle.

“Seems like you’ve got enough of that confidence for the both of us,” Juno said, and Peter felt his finger twitch under his.

“Well, that’s from years of practice.” He let go of Juno’s arm, choosing instead to look over his shoulder at the plastic car on the counter. “Now, arm motion, incantation, and levitate.”

Juno’s eyes scrunched in concentration, and Nureyev thought for a moment about how attractive he looked before he was violently thrust into the terror of one who’s shop is suddenly in threat of being burned down.

“God damn it,” Juno let out, almost throwing the wand down in frustration. Where the car had been was a singed countertop, and the now flaming car was embedded in the very flammable and very wooden wall, tapestries beside it beginning to singe at the edges.

Nureyev darted towards the threatening flames, grabbing an extinguisher from under the counter. With a quick incantation, he pointed it towards the wall and the flames were swept out of existence accompanied by a faint minty scent.

“Damn it,” Juno said again, gingerly setting down the wand on the counter and surveying the singed wall. “I knew something like this would happen. I’ll find a way to pay you back, Glass, and I swear I’m sorry-“

“Oh, it’s quite alright!” Nureyev swept his hair back from his eyes, returning the extinguisher and regaining his composure. “Events such as this happen quite often when you run a shop like mine. I’m the one at fault for not being more prepared.”

“Are you kidding? I basically singed a hole in your wall.” He gestured generally at the wall in question, specifically the blacked crater and embedded, very melted, plastic car. A few of the hanging tapestries beside it were singed at the edges and blacked from the flames.

Nureyev smiled at Juno, picking the wand back up from the counter and holding it out towards him. “I assure you it’s fine. I’ll repair it with a spell later, and the singed corners of those tapestries only add to the ambiance of the store.”

Juno looked between the wand and Nureyev’s eyes distrustfully. “Listen, Glass, I just don’t think I’m really cut out for this all this… magic stuff. I really appreciate the lesson, but I think it’d be better if I just left.”

“But Mr. Steel- Juno,” Nureyev took his hand, wrapping it around the wand as he stepped closer. Their faces were inches apart, hands trapped between their chests. “You do have quite a gift, and I would hate to see that go to waste. And I,” He slowly reached his hand up to Juno’s face, softly smiling, “have very much enjoyed our time together.”

“I… uh…” Juno’s eloquent thoughts were cut off from a beep in his back pocket. He jumped away from Nureyev, pulling out his phone. “It’s… my secretary. Sorry, I… there’s a new case and I need to be back in the office…”

“Of course.” Nureyev set the wand back down on the counter, pulling out a pad of paper and scribbling his number on it. He didn’t give his number out lightly, but there was something about this lady, this Juno Steel, that made him want to break all of his rules and just find out more about him. “Text me sometime if you change your mind on learning magic.” Their fingers brushed as he handed over the paper. “Or, perhaps, if you simply want to meet again, sans arcane education?”

“I do- I mean, I will.” Juno started backing towards the door, stuffing the paper in his pocket. “I will text you. Sometime. Soonish?” He turned and walked out the door with a short wave.

Nureyev watched him until he was out of sight, then slowly put the wand in its case and placed it below the counter. This whole idea was disastrous and would probably bite him back soon enough. But even if he was digging his own grave, he would gladly lie in it if it meant seeing Juno Steel again.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh thank you for reading!!
> 
> Drop by my tumblr @[penultimatestalematewithdeath](https://penultimatestalematewithdeath.tumblr.com/) and say hi! (Yes I know it's a long url, I made it a while back and now I'm too nostalgically attached to change it to something smaller and socially acceptable). I would deffo love to chat with people about anything Penumbra related (and about most other things too, please rant at me)! 
> 
> Thanks again! Keep on being amazing human beings!


End file.
